I’m coming back! And this time with a new perspective! Life has thrown me lemons, rotten apples, sour grapes, some knives and even a couple machetes the past couple of years. I have the bruises, bumps, cuts and scars to prove it. AND what have I learned? So, so much!

I have gone through major life events, many at the same time, and feeling like I’m barely making it out alive. I’ve held my pride, sucked it up, made the life changes necessary but I’m still not where I want to be. Why? Because I’m strong, I’m successful, and I have so many things to be grateful for. Life is good. I have many people who love and support me. I have a great job, many friends and two amazing daughters. Yet, I feel stuck. I want a change. Even through all the life changes recently, I am still sitting here saying I need a change. I’ve been thinking about making big changes… stop drinking, go back to the gym, eat only whole foods, change jobs, etc, etc. I start then I stop. Then I start again, and I stop. What is going on?

You may say I should go see a therapist. I suggested yesterday after a hectic day that a mental institution is likely going to call and ask me when I’m coming back. Haha! But today, something changed. I woke up and made an immediate decision to start blogging again. Why? Because I’ve been on a long, very difficult, journey and now, I want to share that journey with you. I hope my struggles, my challenges, my changes I’ve started and stopped, my hectic life can be a sounding board, a launching pad, a small spark of motivation you need to take your rose-colored glasses off and evaluate your life.

I’m so grateful for where I’ve made improvements and changes in my life because I’ve had to over the last couple of years. AND I am not happy. I drink every night. I make excuses for why I don’t make more changes. I’ve been wearing rose-colored glasses when in reality I’m actually sitting pretty darn close to rock bottom. I am not willing to admit I am not where I want to be. I tell myself every day, I am fine. I am a good mother. I am a good employee. I am a good friend. I am all of those AND deep down, I am dying inside. I make myself get out of bed in the mornings. I make myself smile and laugh and tell everyone how wonderful life is. Yes, life is wonderful. AND it can suck too!

AND THAT’S OK! I’m willing to remove my rose-colored glasses and face life and all the lemons, apples, grapes and machetes it throws my way. Want to join me? We can do it together!