Somedays you just want to stay in bed! Today was one of those days for me. I was informed yesterday that what I’ve been treating (Lymes) and the treatment may not have been 100% on target. What? No seriously, what?? My first thought was “Has all the time, money and effort for the last 3.5 years been useless?” Probably not because I am feeling better, yet I’m still not better. So, while that does make sense, the news came as quite a shock.
The facet of tears started yesterday and continued this morning as I laid in bed. Admittingly, I didn’t think I was going to get out of my bed today. I’m angry and I’m sad and I’m frustrated. I may have lost a lot of time, money and effort over the past several years because the treatment was not exactly correct. I knew, as I laid in bed this morning, I needed to look at the positive side that in 6 months I could be a brand-new person. I could feel like a million dollars. That’s what I’ve been praying for! I want to feel better and now I may have that opportunity! That’s something to celebrate! I could have my normal life back. I could be active every day without struggle. I could stop taking medicine every day. I could wake up and jump out of bed. No more pep talks to myself about getting through the day. Yes, that’s all such good news!!
But I couldn’t get myself to that place this morning so I stayed in bed and continued to cry. My attitude didn’t change until a friend wiped away my tears and said, “Lori, look at this as a breakthrough! We may not have known any of this before and now today we do. You’ve been saying you want to feel better, right? Well, in 6 months, you will be!” At first, I struggled to see it that way! But after letting it sink in, I stopped crying, I pulled myself out of bed and I thought to myself… “Oh my goodness, in 6 months I WILL BE BETTER!” Yes, this is a breakthrough!
I will know more after some testing this month. And while I may still have a little pity party for myself today (my sister said that was ok to do), I will take this news and know with certainty there is a light at the end of this tunnel!