Tag Archives: eating disorder

On the right track

I have to admit that May left without even a wave goodbye!  Maybe that’s what happens when May comes in with a blizzard…it leaves tip toeing away!  That’s ok because summer is close behind! Yeah!

Using EFT and having found success with my eating disorder, I was beginning to change my eating habits and was not having days of extreme eating nor days of major restrictive eating. I was beginning to push through the guilt on days I felt I ate more than I should.  I was beginning to push through the feeling of restricting food after a day of “cheating”.  Yet with these changes, I was still experiencing severe bloating and water retention. Admittedly, I was thinking….”Seriously, now what?” Knowing I didn’t want to lose momentum, I decided to talk to my Lyme’s doctor about the challenges I was continuing to face.  Dr. Litchy suggested I could be experiencing these symptoms because my metabolism is confused.  By restricting foods and restricting calories some days and overloading on calories (or foods I should not be eating) other days, my metabolism was not sure what it needed to do.

I’ve read enough books to know that changing one’s eating habits or patterns in extreme ways on a frequent basis can be harmful to your body.  Yes, but I’m doing what’s best for my body to heal so this certainly wouldn’t apply to me.  Right?  Nope…hard lesson learned…. my metabolism was not immune to chronic illness.  After many years of restrictive eating (which I thought was to improve my health), I was confusing my metabolism.   What was the solution?  You got it…. Stop eating in such extreme ways!  While I was changing my eating habits, I needed to make more changes.  I needed to eat regular amounts of food daily.  I needed to be consistent and regular with my eating habits. I needed to eat foods good for MY body.  And, I needed to increase my variety of foods.  Sounds easy, right?  Not exactly!  For someone who struggles with food every minute of the day, this felt extremely challenging.

What I know is the only thing constant is change!  So, yes, it will take time for my metabolism, stomach, and overall body to heal!  But with the continued changes I’m making, I know I’m on the right track!

Ways to Skin a Cat

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April blizzards bring?  Answer:  I’ll let you know in May!

I’ve always been fascinated by the saying “there are several ways to skin a cat”.  But first I ask, why would you want to skin a cat?  Second, why would anyone think of multiple ways of doing that?  Nonetheless, this holds true for most things in life. There are many ways to approach a challenge!  As I continued on my health journey, which started in 2010, I was learning just how many ways one can “skin a cat!”  No cat skinning here, but eating disorder…let’s count a few ways…1.  Therapy  2. Doctors  3. Self-care  4. Education/school  5. Hypnosis  6. Family/friends  7. EFT.  There are many other ways, but this was the list I pulled from the top of my head.  And yes, I tried all of them!  But EFT proved to be the most effective.  When it came to my eating disorder, I was able to clear the emotions causing me to eat the way I did.  I won’t go into detail about how EFT works (PM me or reach out to Elda if you want to learn more), but I can tell you after several sessions, my relationship changed with food and with my body.  OMG….I was now able to control the extreme shifts in my eating habits.  Success!!  Life changing!  

Without the extreme shifts in my eating, I was feeling better, my moods were more stable, I had more energy, and I was getting better sleep.  BUT… I was beginning to notice some weight gain.  While this was a good thing because my BMI was low, I was not happy about continuously gaining weight. I was eating healthy, yet I was feeling bloated and heavy more days than others. I began to notice many of my clothes were not fitting anymore.  I began to notice exercise was not maintaining my weight.  What was I doing wrong?  Because of the work I did with Elda and EFT, I did not go back to my old habits!! High five!  Yet I did need to understand what was happening.  So I turned to my doctor for guidance.  Here’s what I learned….restrictive eating, yo-yo dieting, and/or extreme food shifts over a long period of time can cause internal harm to your body.  Are you kidding me?  I was cutting foods to help my body.  I was limiting my food intake to benefit my body.  I was restricting foods to heal my body.  Now I was told all of that work over the last 6-7 years was actually harmful to other organs in my body.  I was shocked. I was sad. I was frustrated. I was mad.

Multiple ways to skin a cat?  What happens when some or all the ways cause harm to the cat?  Now what?

Another twist in the journey…but this too will be met with gratitude, positive thoughts and most importantly…. eyes wide open!

Stay warm…and I’m hopeful that Spring is actually coming to MN!

Seeking Help

Awareness is key!  At least that’s what they say!  In my case, being aware that I may have a problem was the start to me seeking help.  

In 2015, I started to suspect I may have an eating disorder, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit it. I wasn’t willing to talk to my friends or my family about it.  I didn’t want to talk to any of my doctors about it.  What would people say?  Would they view me differently? Would they judge me harshly?  In my mind, talking about it meant I was admitting I had a problem. I was very ashamed so….. I did nothing even though I was silently suffering.

At some point in 2015, I saw an advertisement for the Emily Program indicating they helped people with eating disorders so I confidentially reached out to them.  To my dismay, I needed a doctor’s referral in order to make an appointment.  This made me angry and frustrated.  A person should be able to reach out if they needed help!  Why is a doctor the only source of entry into the program?  As I mentioned before, I wasn’t willing to go to my doctor, so I then questioned if I really had an eating disorder.  My eating patterns hadn’t changed, but maybe my eating disorder wasn’t as bad as people who were in the program.  If the program doesn’t take “walk-ins” then I must not have a problem.  So, again, I did nothing!  Again, I continued to suffer in silence.  

Don’t give up they say!  Fast forward to late 2016 when I met Elda Dorothy through a networking group. Elda, through her business, Compassionate Truth, works with clients using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique aka Tapping). Prior to Elda, I had seen a few videos and read a few articles on tapping, but it wasn’t something I knew or cared much about.  However, I had heard SO MANY wonderful things about Elda and while our paths crossed at the annual conference, I hadn’t had the pleasure of speaking with her.  So when I finally had an opportunity to meet with Elda in 2017….WOW…everything I had heard was true!  Elda was and still is the most sincerest, kind-hearted, caring, genuine and generous person I have ever met.  What I didn’t realize was how much Elda and EFT would change my life!
Stay tuned…..and don’t ever give up!
If you would like more information on EFT, please message me or reach out to Elda Dorothy at https://live.vcita.com/site/eldadorothy.

How my eating disorder started

Thank you to all of those who have reached out regarding my “Unexpected Eating Disorder” blog.  It’s very heart felt to have so many loving and caring people in my life.  Hugs to you all!

As promised, the series continues…..here’s how it started:

When I reflect, I can see where and how this began.  It took until about 9-10 months ago (yes, 2017) before I was willing and able to admit I had a problem.

About 8 years ago, I changed my exercise plan and eating habits.  Instead of walking daily, I added running, strength training and yoga.  Instead of cereal every morning, I ate eggs. Instead of sandwiches, I ate salads for lunch.  Instead of Hamburger Helper, I ate meat/poultry and veggies, rice, potatoes or some other combination for dinner.  I did this during the week and then would eat whatever I wanted on weekends. I would enjoy going out and going to parties with cocktails, snacks, chips, dip, candy, etc.  It took about a year of following this routine (eat healthy during the week, consume whatever I wanted on the weekends) before I realized I lost 20 pounds!  What?  Having never felt like I was overweight at 125lbs (height 5’5”-5’6”), I never thought my body would change as much as it did.  I went from a size 8 to a size 00 and weighed in at 105lbs.  My lowest weight was 99lbs (but that was after a surgery).  I was eating healthy and exercising. No problem here.

I liked being thin so I started to exercise more (generally 2 workouts a day) so I could eat more.  By doing this, I still felt skinny and beautiful.  I loved my new body. I loved feeling strong and athletic. I loved fitting into little black dresses or cute summer tank tops.  I was loving life! I loved being skinny while still enjoying the food and festivities of life!  I was eating healthy (most of the time) and exercising (a lot). No problem here.

Fast forward a couple of years when my health started to turn and found I needed to cut some major food groups from my diet because my body was reacting to the foods.  I cut dairy and gluten from my diet. I eventually cut eggs and almonds. I cut blueberries, cashews, kale, chia seeds, flaxseeds, salmon, legumes and the list goes on and on.  At one point, I hired two personal chefs to make food for me because I was finding it more difficult to come up with recipes I could eat.  As my list of restrictive foods grew, the substitutions became less. As the substitutions became less, my weight started to increase.  It’s now 2014 and while I was eating healthy (very restrictive) I was also gaining “extra” weight. Now at 115lbs, I felt I was “overweight”.  But still no problem here.

Having to eat the same foods every day, I started getting tired and frustrated. By late 2014, I started cheating on more foods.  I started to eat more foods from my restrictive food list for 1-2 days. I would suffer physically for this, but found if I juiced (only drank fresh green juice) for 2-3 days, I would be able to maintain my weight.  This turned into cheating on foods for a week, then juicing again for 2-3 days.  Then I started to binge eat for 7-10 days, juice for 2-3 days and then I added fasting to my routine, just so I could maintain my current weight of 115-118lbs.  It was a cycle.  By 2016, I’m officially 10-13lbs “overweight”.  I believe this is all par for the course because of my health challenges.  I told myself every day that I will lose the weight once my health is back.  Again, no problem here.

By 2017, I was consumed…. every day, every minute, every thought, morning, noon and night, revolved around food…..  I told myself I had to because of my health.  I also refused to gain any more weight.  I was obsessed..I had to lose weight.  Could I fast for 3 days?  Could I juice for a week? Or vise versa?   Reality set in…. I think I have a problem.

Unexpected Eating Disorder

February is almost behind us and March is coming in sight.  This means warmer temperatures and Spring, Spring, Spring!  Did I mention Spring?  Well, the thought of seeing green grass, new buds on the trees and fresh flowers spouting up brings me pure joy!

In light of Spring coming upon us, I wanted to share a little secret of mine.  Now I would whisper it in your ear, but I don’t think that will work in this vehicle of communication.   So, are you ready?  Wait…let me frame this up first….

Throughout my health journey, I have had to restrict my food intake because I have become “sensitive” to many foods.  I’m not talking just gluten and dairy, but a much broader list which includes black pepper, cilantro, almonds, kale, chia seeds, zucchini, blueberries, and green beans to name a few.  My list of restrictive foods is extensive and changes annually depending on when I have the testing done.

While this was beneficial for my health because restricting many foods reduced my Lymes symptoms and digestive issues, it also created a much large problem!  Ok, now are you ready?  Here’s my secret….a very unexpected eating disorder.   Deep breath…I’m saying this mostly for my benefit because this is an extremely difficult topic for me to openly talk about.  However, I want to help others who are struggling and the only way I can do that is by sharing my story.  Therefore, I am going to start a series on my eating disorder, how it developed, how I’ve dealt with it and consequences of all the above.

Stay tuned…more to come!

(In the meantime, if you or anyone you know is battling with restrictive eating habits, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.  I would love to have a conversation with you or them and see how I may help!)