Awareness is key!  At least that’s what they say!  In my case, being aware that I may have a problem was the start to me seeking help.  

In 2015, I started to suspect I may have an eating disorder, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit it. I wasn’t willing to talk to my friends or my family about it.  I didn’t want to talk to any of my doctors about it.  What would people say?  Would they view me differently? Would they judge me harshly?  In my mind, talking about it meant I was admitting I had a problem. I was very ashamed so….. I did nothing even though I was silently suffering.

At some point in 2015, I saw an advertisement for the Emily Program indicating they helped people with eating disorders so I confidentially reached out to them.  To my dismay, I needed a doctor’s referral in order to make an appointment.  This made me angry and frustrated.  A person should be able to reach out if they needed help!  Why is a doctor the only source of entry into the program?  As I mentioned before, I wasn’t willing to go to my doctor, so I then questioned if I really had an eating disorder.  My eating patterns hadn’t changed, but maybe my eating disorder wasn’t as bad as people who were in the program.  If the program doesn’t take “walk-ins” then I must not have a problem.  So, again, I did nothing!  Again, I continued to suffer in silence.